Dating (glendaliz2010)

DATING......


Life is all about change and being open to change. You have to be able to recognize that what you have been doing isn't working and go ahead and try something new, another way to get the result you wish to get.

This year I'm attempting to change my status from “single” to “in a relationship "so I'll be dating!! and I'm sharing my journey and my life with anyone that will listen or read. Why am I doing this? Well as I bring down the walls I've created, I really want people to know who I am. The soft side of me, the ghetto girl, the mom, the sister, the fighter, all of me. So I'm trying a few things, this being one of them.

My sister has started a “Date my Sister group” on her site www.maritorres.ning.com , I have a profile up on a singles site, and I also participate in singles events in my area so I'm trying to be proactive in my dating experience. I've gotten lots of e-mails and comment by women who are going or have gone through some of the things that I write about. I love reading what they say because it makes me feel closer to them in the knowledge that we are Women and we will go through these issues and complications and NO we are not alone in this, so please keep the e-mails coming I love them.

So this dating thing can be pretty scary. It's not as simple as you would think because we are dealing with people , relating with them and interacting with them and that involves emotions . Yes I said it, EMOTIONS.
It can be a bit messy because even if YOU feel you are emotionally ready (you have done some emotional work on yourself) that does not prepare you to get back into the thick of things, yes you have changed but everyone else might still be the same.

That was a rude awakening for me. I thought that since I worked on me I would attract someone like me....yeah no. I had to step back again and think about what I was trying to do in this thing called dating. Then I realized that although I had done the work the actual dating was going to be the hands on part of my schooling. This was going to be where I put everything I have learned about myself, relationships, the opposite sex and the world as I see it in general to practice.

I was still scared but very willing to learn whatever it is these relationship will teach me.
When you think about it, dating can be pretty enlightening. You definitely learn what you don't like.
I went out with a gentleman that was so shy and so nervous that he just could not say anything but “wow I can't believe you're actually here” throughout the whole dinner date. That date really taught me that I do want someone that is secure and has good conversations. So dating is not bad if you take it for what it is and learn the lessons that dating brings.

If you dated someone and then it went sour and now you're all over the internet berating this person, or talking about how horrible men/women are then you did not learn what you were suppose to learn from this encounter and guess what? you will continue to experience this until you get the lesson. Life is funny that way. Life wants you to succeed. It's like a video game, do you recall ever playing a video game and you had to learn certain section before moving to the next and as you progressed you got better at applying what you learn but the levels got harder? Well life is like that in every aspect including dating, you just have to keep at it until you get the results you want.....then you Win!

So he lied and said he was ready for a committed relationship and 4 months into the relationship you find out that HE doesn't even consider you a relationship. Dust yourself off and try again but take time to think about what you did in this relationship, did you ignore some flags, did you commit to it too fast, were you both not communicating where the relationship was going , if anywhere? Take time to learn the lessons. Maybe the lesson was that you have to listen to your inner voice . Whatever the case may be there is always a lesson "You" have to learn in order to move on.