I am a 44 year old woman . I'm 5'1” (fun size), brown skin, thick ( not fat), love sunsets , walks on the beach, blah blah blah. That's me trying to describe myself on a dating site. Oh yes!! I've done the singles/dating/love sites I actually still have an active profile on one. Let me tell you some of these sites are just horrible. I will take “PIMP NIGHT” at the double tree before I subject myself to some of the men on most of these sites.
Now not all sites are bad, just like not all clubs or park or laundromats are bad...lol if that's where you choose to meet men or women . Just do your research . One of the things these sites require you to do is build a profile. That can be really challenging for some, it was for me. Although my self esteem is in pretty good condition it's hard for me to describe myself or try to make a person find me interesting in 500 characters or less it's almost impossible. Actually it's pretty ridiculous especially since we will always try to put our best attributes on display.
So how realistic are these profiles?
My dilemma was how to describe myself without sounding like I'm too good to be true , or as if I'm full of myself? By the way did you know that people lie about who they are? Yeah it's true they lie....lol
Some of you may not believe this but I was on a dating/relationship hiatus for a few years, yes me Ghetto Girl I was on strike! Actually I had been making some really bad choices when it came to men so I decided to just take some time away from it all and really figure out what was wrong with me. Notice I did not say what was wrong with them. Oh yes I knew who the common denominator was...ME!
I felt that I needed to get to know me and figure out what I really wanted so that I could stop attracting all the things I didn't want. Does that make sense?
During this time I also learned what I could bring to the table and what I was lacking . During this process I learned what I really value in a relationship. Y'all know what I'm talking about. The wants, needs, must have, hell no's and I can work with , that we secretly have in our heads and are constantly adding to or deleting from.
Let me tell you all something about that mental list we have...IT'S RIDICULOUS!!!!
Have you checked on your list lately? Can you see how unrealistic these lists can be? I mean when I wrote my list out on paper I was describing Jesus!!! well minus the sex part, but I'm sure Jesus had sex and if he did it had to be perfect after all he was perfection. I digress , sorry. What I was saying is that I learned that I was a list maker, but thank God I learned what I value , what it looks like in a relationship and most of all I learned that no one person can fulfill all my needs, I have to look to myself to provide what it is I need.
That lesson open me up to a lot of mind blowing revelations about me.
So do you remember when I said “I intend to be married by the time I'm 45” yeah well at the time that I said it I was so not ready to receive what I was asking for, hell I didn't even have a clear idea of what I was asking for., and don't even act like I'm the only one making these mistakes we all do it at one time or another. I'm just putting it out there in the open for you to read, criticize, scrutinize and comment.
So I was full of shit, there I said it!
Today I'm a little more wiser, a little more enlightened, a little more open, and a lot more loving with myself (not that kind of self love) . So do I have a hard time describing myself in 500 characters or less, hell yeah because I'm so much more than what 500 characters can describe and everyday I learn something new that I must add, but if you really insist that I describe myself , if you really need to know who I am then I must do it my way …..............
Me , Myself ...and all that makes me
Ladies do you think men really want to know who we are? Do they want to move past that first impression of us and really see us? On a few occasions I have come across a man or two that really didn't ( by what they said or did) seem to want to know who I really am they only wanted that woman they first met and really didn't expect me to change( their word) at ALL.
This was very confusing to me because I felt that the more time you spend with me the more you will know of me. Isn't that the way it's suppose to work? The woman that I am feels free to love all that is Me. If there is something about me you don't understand or like we can talk about it but don't judge me,or try to use Me against Me because I don't fit your mold of how I should BE.
Because of these kinds of incidents I came up with this description of me.
Spiritual: I believe in God and was raised in the church. I'll go to church when I feel the need to but I'm not too crazy about organized religion.
Loving: I'm a very loving woman. I love physical contact so holding hands, caressing and touching is something that I will do. Cuddling is a must.
Nurturing: I enjoy taking care of those I love whether that's caring for you when you're sick or being your cheerleader, I offer my support and assistance when needed. I also enjoy caring for people in my community and I love working with youth.
Funny: I enjoy laughing and making others laugh. My sister says that I am the life of the party and she is very wise so I believe her. A night out to a comedy club is always a good thing and a great first date.
Good looking: I've been told that I'm very attractive and I believe that I am, but don't get it twisted we all don't walk around with photo-shop, I wake up good looking and after I apply my MAC I'm beautiful.
Thoughtful: I try to be considerate of the needs of others. I enjoy doing special things for birthdays, good grades, or just doing something nice to show I appreciate you. I treat people the way I want to be treated.
Ambitious: I have a strong desire to succeed, in life, love and business. I want to do more and be more than just another being breathing. I want to make a difference in the lives of those around me. I strive to be the best human being I can be. I'm returning to school to get my degree in Psychology.
Thinker: I've been accused of being a “deep “ person . I enjoy reading and learning. I think a lot , my mind is always going and at time I can over think things. I've learned not to take myself so serious but it takes me a little while to get over me.
Neat : I'm a very good housekeeper. I enjoy a clean home and I like things in order and in their place. Some call me a neat freak, others ( my children ) say I have a touch of OCD...I just like the things that I CAN control to be in order.
Shy :believe it or not I am ...lol even though you would not know it by interacting with me. I've trained myself to be out going because I didn't want to be shy but depending on the situation and surroundings I can be a little shy.
Loyal: I am very loyal with those that have earned my loyalty but because I love you I will tell you if you are wrong. Now in a relationship I am and always will be loyal to myself First.
Hood: hmmmm I have to say I am hood, and coming from that environment has helped me in many situations especially when speaking with inner city youth and also when conducting workshops, but when speaking to the people that will hire me to speak I'm all business....I can be Glendaliz Torres , or Ghetto Girl ….I've yet to set anyone's clothes on fire, flatten tires, bleached clothes, or gotten a man fired by acting a dayum fool at his job but I'm capable of doing all those things and cussing you out in English and Spanish…..just keeping it 100.
Romantic: I love Love and all that comes with it, romance is a very big part of me. Little notes, on the mirror, a call to say your special to me, or a picnic in the park these things may sound corny but they all say I care for you. I believe a man should be romance just as much as a woman. .
Sensitive: OK lets talk about this one. I've been criticized for being sensitive and I will admit I am and now that I'm in my 40's I'm even more sensitive. So yes I cry when I see the birth of a baby, I cry at wedding because of the joy I feel for the couple, sometimes I cry when I watch a movie (like my sisters keeper). If you say something that will hurt my feeling I may or may not cry , but my feeling will be hurt and you will know it. Because I am sensitive I try not to hurt those that I love and will apologize if I do. I'm learning to give myself time to think things through and not take everything said or done to me to heart it's not always about me.
Good communicator: I like to communicate my thoughts, and feelings. Sometimes it's hard for me to be around a non-communicator. Communication to me is key in any relationship. We spend too much time assuming what other said, or meant to say and not enough time really trying to understand each other. I'm working really hard to have better listening skills...what ? I'm a work in progress! Communication is something that I think I will always be learning and applying in my life. If you are a person with walls, barriers or other obstacles that keep you from having a relationship you might want to just skip me. I value communication very much and I can NOT be in any relationship without it.
Sexual: I am a highly sexual woman. I've read books that state that once in our 40's a woman's sex drive dissipates......I'm waiting. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality and as far as sex I don't believe I have any inhibitions.....lets leave it at that for all y'all that thought I was gonna get all graphic and sexual...it's a description dammit ! I will talk about my sex life at another time.
Great Cook: Lets just say I can get down in the kitchen. The food network is my friend and I pretty much can cook anything I set out to cook.
Great MOM: My kids tell me that I've been and continue to be a great mom to them and again , I believe them. I'm not trying to be anyone else mom, nor am I popping out any more babies. My uterus is closed !
Okay that is me in a nutshell...lol
There is much more of me but why bore you all to death with it right now.
I'm sure you want me to get to my dating adventures or lack of dating adventures. But first is there is anything about me that I left out please feel free to e-mail me or better yet leave me a comment and I will see if I can clear things up for you. Ohhhhh but I'm sure you are all thinking WAIT, I love this woman , she is perfect, I will move heaven and earth for her , how can I have her, I want to be her! Slow your roll people. I knew you guys would not let me get away with just the good stuff so here goes and let me clarify that some of these things are not necessarily bad to me, but maybe to others like....
- I rent an apartment I don't own my own home
- I'm very emotional
- My credit score is not that great and I have some Debt
- I drive a 1989 Toyota ( ugly Betty cause she doesn't look that great but she is loyal)
- Sometimes I doubt myself ,(but I'm far from being insecure)
- I can be a bit controlling ( when shit don't get done like I asked )
- I don't work out as much as I should
- I procrastinate/ I'm a crammer
- I have a high sex drive ( sometimes when I'm single like now I don't like this)
- Not into long distance relationships (but hey I could meet someone that will change my mind but so far No Go)
- I curse like a sailor
- I love Disco Music
I think that's it. I'm sure more will come out during this year long experience.
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