A Conversation with You

August 19, 2008

There are so many things that I need to tell you, but I’m not sure you will understand.
You see I’m hoping that you’re one of these new kinds of bruthas that are bringing back the real meaning of man.

There are things to be said, conversation to be had and thoughts to be provoked when two people are trying to get to know one another.
There are thing about me that you should know so that there are no misunderstanding, no lack of comprehension, no falsehood, or misguiding.

I need you to know that I’m not looking for a lover, a lil friend, or a “in case of sexual emergency call”……I need a man that will stick with me for the long haul.
To build a relationship, not just have relations with.

I’m saying these things to you because I know that the old belief that “if you love me you would know” doesn’t work, that is unless you are psychic.
I understand that I have to express to you what I need from you so that we can come to an understanding before moving on to another phase of this relationship. They say a closed mouth doesn’t get fed, so I feel obligated to feed you who I am so that you can marinate in the thought of me, and figure out if this is a meal you wish to consume.

At this stage in my life I’m very knowledgeable in who I am, what I need and Want from a man and I also understand that these needs can and will change, but some needs I know will stay the same.
I need romance in my life and only you can provide this so I need you to be romantic, lets have a picnic, or walk in the rain (don’t worry baby I can get my hair wet). Call me and tell me that you were thinking of me. Don’t be afraid to show me your vulnerability, because I am your tranquility and I will care for those feelings you share. When I say that I want a man to be sensitive to my needs, I understand fully that you will also be sensitive to yours and I will not criticize this …it’s what I need.

I understand and know that you cannot be my all, my everything , I should not rely on you for my happiness because my happiness is my responsibility.
My intention is to be happy with you. I come to you as a whole person not half of one expecting you to complete me. You carry enough responsibility. let do this together and truly create a partnership with two people becoming one, making two. Not two halves making a whole, for some reason that has proven not to work.

Allow me to take care of you I know it’s hard sometimes to accept this as real, but I have no other motive than expressing how I feel. Allow me to be the true essence of woman.
All that you give will be returned 100 times over. I am a woman that fully understands her role in a man’s life. I will uplift, support and inspire you to be the man god has meant for you to be. I have a natural need to show and express my love, I need you to inspire me, motivate me, and encourage me to give this love to you. Don’t just assume that you got me and that’s all there is to do?

Let’s cuddle together and watch a favorite movie, or sit on the porch and read poetry to each other with the rain making gentle music in the background. Let‘s talk about those past experiences that have made you the man you are today with no judgment or interrogations about your past love frustrations. After all we all have past lessons that created who we are today and getting to know those things about each other will be worth what we have to say.
Let’s dance to our favorite slow jams. Talk about growing up, favorite food, who we wish to be, what we want to do, just sharing in each others lives sounds nice.

I need you to understand my dreams and aspirations, and if our energy is on the same journey stand with me in this book called my life and even write a chapter or two then we can start the book on our life.
Let’s have long conversations so that we can get to know each other even before we are….. in each other.
Isn’t that what we complain about “had I just taken the time to get to know him/her” isn’t time what it’s about?
Let’s do this for each other take the time and leave no doubt. Ask me for the things you need instead of assuming, because only when you tell me can you be sure that I know. Let’s communicate and make a decision never to stop.

I want to be your cheerleader, not the one out in front grabbing the spotlight waving pom poms and saying to the world “look who he is because of me”!!! I want to be the one you turn to, the one that needs no spot light in your journey because when you shine your light also shines on me, but I do need you to include me in your journey if this is were you need me to be, because this allows us to make memories. At some point if we are the right ones for each other our journeys will have the same outcome so we must be able to express our dreams and goals and together if it’s god’s will…...make it happen.

You must be thinking that I’m hiding something because finances have yet to be mentioned.
Why is it that we are so scared of this topic, can you and I speak on this and answer these questions to each other. Do you really believe a woman is only after what a man can give her financially? Do I really believe that all a man will do is lay up in my home make no contribution, get a piece of my love and then bounce? Let’s talk and see what we think.

But let me say this and maybe you will feel more at ease. I believe a man should be able to provide not only financially, but emotionally, sexually, and physically.
For a very long time I’ve provided those things for myself.
I took care of my emotional need because that it what I must do. I have yet to find a man that I can be emotionally liberated with and not be told I’m weak or too emotional. I’ve had to provide and prepare for my own financial needs and I do a great job of it, but I still need you.
I’ve raised 3 children on my own and have done a very good job so I had to get my hustle on, but I still love you.

I can repair my own garbage disposal, take out the trash, and fix my breaks…. I’ve had to, but I still need and want you.
When my body aches to release sexual tension I can pleasure myself for hours, but it’s not you …I still desire you.
Plain and simple, no matter how I’ve had to step it up in my life because of the choices I’ve made you have always been someone I want and need by my side….my man

I will love you when you’re making the dollars, and I will love and support you more when times get hard and you’re pounding the pavement trying to get back on top.


Know this: when and if those times show up you can rest assure that I will hold it down until our time comes back around.
I don’t need you to fill all my needs, that is the reason why we have so many different relationships in our lifetime, we have friends, sisters, brothers, children, Pastor, parents and so many more and there is always someone that can fill a certain need, but as my man, and future husband there are some needs that only you can and should fill as there are some needs that for you only I can and should fill.

With you I want to do things right. I want to have a healthy relationship. I want us to discuss all those things we neglected to discuss in our past relationships. Like what do you consider cheating and will my feelings on that have an effect on your perspective?
What is spending time together? Is it riding home in the same car, bathing together? Although that last one is very nice….lol but what does spending time mean to you? What are the agreement about finances?
Do we know when it’s okay to give each other advice? Do we always need to give it? Or just stop to listen.
These are things we should talk about. Do you need me to watch the game with you? Can I just make all the snacks and leave you and the boys to yourselves? Can I discuss a problem with you without you feeling that I want you to solve it for me? Can we try to be the best we can in each other?
Some of these things although they may seem petty are things that if important enough can ruin a relationship if they were not respected ……so let’s talk about them.

Let’s LISTEN to each other.

I want to be ONE of the most important people in your life, not a second thought. I want to be the first person you say good morning to and I want you to know that because you are in my life every morning is good. I want be the last person you say goodnight to and have visions of me while you sleep …is that scary? I want you to know that I see you even when the things I see in you have yet to manifest. I want to see myself in your eyes, and always be able to make you smile. We can have this and more baby.
We we just have to be committed to take it there…can you make that commitment?
I need you to woo me, win me over, sweep me off my feet because I will do everything in my power to get into your heart, knock you off your feet and convince you that I’m the real deal. Can you see yourself building a life with me? Leaving a legacy of love, friendship and commitment for others to follow, for our children to be proud of?

I’m stepping up! I’m stepping to you; I’m coming to you with something real I don’t have much right now just the way I feel.
Can I offer you the promise of nothing but the best to come?. I’m putting myself out there because I’m feeling you, I’m not afraid of rejection what do I have to lose? I’m not afraid to let you know what I need and expect from you, I’m not afraid to allow you to love me, I’m not afraid to trust because not trusting you means I don’t trust myself , I’m not afraid to make a mistake because that is how I grow.
I’m not afraid to start a life with you although I don’t know you…..YET.