Okay so last night I watched Marley and Me and I was crying like a baby. For some reason the movie brought out memories of my father’s death. Not that a dog reminds me of my dad but just the suddenness of it. Maybe I was just being super hormonal, although it doesn’t take much to make me cry. I’m a crier so what! I think I just really have not come to terms with the death of my father and I’m not rushing myself either. I miss him so much. Sometimes the pain of losing him in unbearable, it just creeps up on me. It’s been years but to me it seems like only yesterday. The good thing is that today I can think of him and remember him in all his madness…lol and not cry, but others days I just sit down and open the flood gates. I feel much better after that. Who said you shouldn’t cry right?
Last night was definitely not a good emotion night. It would have been nice to have someone to call and say “hey my hormones are raging, I just watched a chick flick, my eyes are puffy from crying, my hair is a hot ghetto mess, my nose is red from blowing snots…..do you wanna come over and cuddle? Lmao yeah right. Did I tell you all that I am single? Oh yes well now you know, and if you have been reading my blog you now know that I’m perimenopausal well now the world knows that not only am I Menopausal, I’m also single …..Lovely! lol
I’m sure you are wondering why I’m sharing so much? Well why should I have to go through this alone anyway my journey is going to be pretty fantastic actually the last 4 years of my life have been pretty amazing but I don’t want to go back that far so I decided to start blogging about this new phase in my life….I call it Single, Happy and Menopausal……….although I think happy and menopausal is an oxymoron. Whateva! So I’m inviting you into a day in my life, almost every day…lol I didn’t want it to be just about my menopausal journey…wow that sounds kinda cool, but yeah I didn’t want it to be just that so it might be a little off but then it will start to flow. I think next I was going to speak on Vaginal Dryness…YIKKES!!! uummm let me research that a little more and marinate on how I’m going to feel sharing the fact that Vaginal Dryness is an issue I may have to be dealing with…and by all account it’s going to happen soon. So give me a minute to gather my thoughts and please excuse me when I go into what my dear friends call ABW mode, Angry black woman mode. By the way it seems to me that every time this “friend “ calls himself imitating me he sounds like flip Wilson doing his famous Geraldine. DO I really sound like that? I love him anyway he is my token Cauc-Asian friend….lol
Well I hope you all enjoy a day in my life as much as I enjoy living it.!
Glendaliz “ I ain’t skurred” Torres
Hey Glendaliz,
ReplyDeleteI so get the hormones and crying triggers about lost loved ones that have left us to Go Over the Rainbow To See Dorothy and Toto as an old radio friend used to say (when somebody died)
These days, between medical issues that limit my lifestyle greatly, i HAVE to avoid sad movies or even sad commercials and turn the channel. To protect my being.
It's like not only do I find a crying jag, grieving for my father who died in 1990 or my uncle in 87 and Aunt in 96 (only relatives I knew,no extended family, do not know cousins, never knew grandparents etc) I find those sad movies or even sad music can trigger memories that seem to cascade from childhood. For everytime I fell and scrapped my knees, a friend made fun of my name for being unusual (Not sophia lol) or being overweight, or losing pets.
Then I fast forward to present and see what "invisible" illness has taken and think wow...how do I deal. Well I try to live in the moment, take in the beauty of the sunny days (NOT COMMON in midwest, go days of cloudy weeks in fall/winter)
But when those bleeping hormones trigger a roller coaster day I just buckle in my seatbelt and hang on. Try to find the laughter in something even if it means a snarky sense of humor, a funny show on DVD of finding funny people online to get me out of myself for a while.
You do not sound like Geraldine but I loved Flip Wilson and that character! :)
Look forward to more of your bloggings.
Soph
thank you Sophia and keep your head up !
ReplyDeleteyou are doing great in finding the laughter and joy in life. A lot of times we forget to do that.